Every divorce is different and the circumstances involved vary from family to family. While some are able to handle and accept the situation better than others, the reality is, divorces aren’t exactly easy for anyone. They tend to bring on stress, frustration, and a lot of uncertainty. And the fact is, your divorce isn’t only affecting you. If you have children, it is likely they too are feeling the effects of the separation just as much as you are, although they may not show it. That is why it is important for you to be there for your child and ensure there is an open line of communication so they can express how they feel.
Aside from that, you also want to be sure you are meeting their needs and expectations despite how difficult the divorce process may be. So, what exactly is it that your child needs? While love and affection are obvious, there are a few other things they may want but are hesitant to tell you.
- They don’t care to see or hear you and your spouse fighting. Arguing and bickering only causes more tension between the members of your family and often makes the divorce more stressful for your children. According to specialists from the University of Missouri, when you argue, your child might interpret that as if they did something wrong and then go on feeling guilty.
- They want to love both of their parents and enjoy the time they get to spend with you and your spouse. Rather than acting jealous or upset when your child enjoys spending time with their other parent, support their relationship so that your child doesn’t feel as though they have to take sides or “love one parent more than the other.”
- They want you to communicate directly with their other parent. While it might be easier for you to use your child as a messenger when they go to spend the night with their other parent, it puts them in the middle of the situation which is not a position they need to be in. Asking your child to relay a message puts a significant amount of pressure on them and it is likely they are already feeling enough pressure from the divorce itself so it is best to avoid piling on any more.
- Your child wants to hear nice things about their other parent, after all, it is their parent. As upset and angry as you may be with your spouse, your child doesn’t want or need to hear about how they make you feel.
- Unless your child’s other parent is abusive, it is likely they want both of you to be a part of their life. Now depending on what child custody agreement you and your spouse agreed on, if your child’s other parent is going to be living farther away, they still want to communicate with them. Whether it by phone or even written letters, it is important that you support your child’s need to be a part of both their parent’s life.
Trying to meet your own needs along with those your child has during your divorce can be tough and sometimes, overwhelming. However, you don’t have to take on the entire process on your own. The fact is, USAttorneys.com has extensive experience in helping clients who were going through a divorce, making the process easier and less stressful for them and their family.