MIAMI, Florida. We’ve all heard about on-again, off-again relationships, but what about the on-again, off-again marriage? If you’ve filed for divorce, but are thinking about calling it off and trying one last time to save your marriage, here are some things to consider.

  • On and off again relationships can lead to anxiety and depression. According to Time, studies have found that individuals in on and off again relationships are more at risk of anxiety and depression. A breakup or divorce can trigger intense feelings of anxiety and sadness, but these feelings generally pass with time. When couples rekindle their marriage to try to put an end to the negative feelings, they may be at risk of bringing that anxiety and depression into their marriage. Knowing that one of you wanted to call it quits can make it harder to make the marriage work and can lead to long-term psychological issues. If you do plan to try to give your marriage another try, consider seeking the help of a professional to help you navigate these major emotional questions.
  • People in on and off again relationships are more likely to be victims of abuse or relationship violence. Is this the second or third time your partner cheated on you, lied to you, and gaslighted you, only to come back to the relationship? Was your partner violent and has he tried to make it up to you? The cycle of domestic violence can be powerful and difficult to escape. If you are considering getting back together with your ex-husband, ask yourself—is this an abusive relationship? Am I putting myself and possibly my children in danger by returning?
  • Are you returning to your marriage because you are afraid of being alone? Do you feel obligated to be in the relationship? Do you feel like you need to stay for financial reasons? These may not be good reasons to continue in a relationship. A good divorce lawyer from can review your shared finances and help you understand what rights you might have. In some cases, you may be entitled to alimony, child support, or retirement accounts.
  • Are you getting back together to alleviate anxiety? Being alone can be anxiety provoking. A recent article in Goop, called anxiety the “missing stage” of grief. There are many healthy ways to cope with anxiety. Speaking to a counselor, meditating, exercising, or talking to a good friend can help you cope. Getting back into a toxic relationship will likely only increase your anxiety in the future.
  • Consider your own personal growth. If you are giving your marriage another go just to end the pain of splitting up, consider your reasons for divorcing in the first place. If those reasons haven’t changed, then your marriage isn’t likely to work the second time around. By staying in a marriage that doesn’t work, you are preventing yourself from growing.

Are you struggling with whether or not you should get divorced? Knowledge about your options can make an immense difference when it comes to analyzing what decision is best for you and your family. works closely with individuals who have questions about the legal and financial implications of divorce.

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