New York, NY- Statistically speaking second marriages have a greater rate of failure than first marriages. For many, a second marriage is seen as a new opportunity to have the partner and the life a person’s first marriage failed to afford them. That’s probably what co-host of “The View” Sherri Shepherd thought when she married her second husband, but just three years into it the couple is separating.
After her first marriage to Jeff Tarpley ended in 2010, Shepherd, 47, didn’t waste any time marrying her second husband Lamar Sally. The “Precious” actress and Sally, a television writer, tied the knot in Chicago, Shepherd’s hometown, in 2011 after a year of dating and just two years after her first marriage ended.
Shepherd left her first husband with whom she has a child after he had an affair and impregnated his mistress, and now it looks like husband number two is also cheater, according to the Daily Mail. A source close to Shepherd told the Daily Mail, the comedian/ actress suspected Sally of having an affair before just months after the couple walked down the aisle.
Shepherd may not have made a visit to a divorce attorney yet, but considering the details of her split it seems inevitable.
The divorce rate for first marriages is less than stellar, approximately 47 percent end in divorce, but things get downright dismal for second or third marriages. On average, 67 percent of first marriages and 75 percent of third marriages end in divorce. Now, that doesn’t mean all second or third marriages have absolutely no chance of success, it just means that statistically speaking, the odds are stacked up against them.
So, why do repeat marriages have a greater chance of failing?
Psychologists believe that many people who enter a second or third marriage are on the rebound just like unmarried couples. They are eager to move on, but they aren’t ready or used to being alone. They enter into second or three marriages too quickly, before they have had time to heal from the split, evaluate and pull the pieces of their life back together. Moving too quickly from marriage to the next doesn’t give a person the time they need to correct the issues that caused their first marriage to fail.
Sheppard’s first husband may have been cheating on her throughout their eight year marriage, and now with her marriage to Sally, she may have recognized the signs of infidelity early on. For the second or third marriage issues are easier to pinpoint. Mark Banschick wrote in Psychology Today, “They may even recognize the warning signs earlier than they did first time round and are quicker to react, more determined to minimize the agony.
With second and third marriages, there is also the issue of blending two families into one. A large proportion of couples have children before they divorce and once one parent moves on to another spouse, it will obviously create conflict. Children may resent their parents new spouse and may act out in irresolvable ways.
Again, not all second or third marriages end, but if they must, both spouses are well aware of the value of having a divorce lawyer who can be instrumental in making the divorce process as painless as possible.