One of the biggest concerns most parents have when going through a divorce is how they are going to parent successfully after the separation is finalized. Divorces are tough on both adults and children and it is going to require some effort on your part to help get your children accustomed to this new lifestyle they are now forced to live.  While you and your ex-spouse no longer are committed to one another, you both are still committed to your children and will need to work together so that you can both parent peacefully and provide all that your kids need, despite the fact that you two are no longer together.


So, how can you do this?


Well, U.S. News has a few tips for you to consider if you find you are struggling with this or are worried you won’t know how to address shared parenting once your divorce is finalized.


  1. Although you might feel as though your ex-partner is not focused on your child’s well-being, consider giving him/her the benefit of the doubt. The source says that when you choose to believe the best about the other parent, “you will feel greater calm, peace, and love.” Now, if you have proof that your ex-partner has abused or neglected your child, this might not be the best approach to take.


  1. Avoid complaining about how your ex-partner is parenting if you aren’t exactly content with what they are doing in front of your children. Instead, choose a trusted friend or family member you can confide in to vent and express your feelings rather than dragging your children into the mix.


  1. Don’t attempt to control how your ex-partner is parenting. You are entitled to parent how you like, and they are entitled to the same thing. If you are having a major disagreement about something that compromises the well-being of your child, then consider bringing it to the attention of a family counselor or therapist.


  1. If you want to help your children feel stable, safe, and secure, consider maintaining family traditions and holiday celebrations. Although some new changes might take effect, don’t forget about the old traditions you have that they truly enjoyed participating in.


  1. One thing you want to remember is that your child’s “other parent represents half of who they are” and you don’t want to degrade their character. Try giving compliments, praising them, and even emphasizing their strengths instead of always criticizing them.



Divorces tend to put a great deal of strain and stress on a family and if you want to increase your chances of peacefully parenting after it has been finalized, consider implementing these tips and others that divorce attorneys and therapists have to offer.

If you are currently going through a divorce or are in the process of filing the initial paperwork, be sure you hire a Raleigh, NC divorce attorney as they can help make this process run smoother. Divorce lawyers understand how difficult these situations can be which is why they offer support, advice, and guidance to get you through this tough time. If you need help locating a lawyer who specializes in family law in Raleigh, NC, is more than willing to help you.