From personal experience, I have seen how having a divorce without taking it to the courts can be beneficial to both parties involved. My parents decided to take this course of action when they filed for dissolution of their marriage. It overall seemed to benefit them in more ways than a divorce through the courts could have. Luckily, most people have this option to divorce their significant other without having to go before a court. For example, the two involved would go through a process that involves a divorce mediator. This collaborative approach involves the two people divorcing one another to come up with agreements while they receive help and advice from attorney’s, if they choose to have representation. The two adults will come to terms and agreements regarding finances, children, etc. and they are joined by a professional divorce mediator that will take what the two people decide on and try to come up with a settlement that the two people can both live with. The mediator is always someone with a neutral opinion in order to come up with the fairest decision possible. Issues such as child visitation, spousal support, or property exchanges can still require the help of a lawyer, but everyone in this situation has agreed to not go to court and try to handle it together with the help of these lawyers and the mediator. However, if there are some issues and an agreement that aren’t coming to a solution, a private judge can be hired in order to settle the argument while still avoiding having to take these issues to court.
This way of divorcing seems to be appealing to people because it keeps everything private. If the divorce is taken to court, there are many spectators that will be there listening to the divorce. They will hear the issues they have and overall just learn about the two’s private business and that is something some people would rather not have. Another reason divorce without court can be beneficial is because it is much faster and overall less expensive. Instead of having to wait for the court to make a decision, it can be handled much quicker between the two involved and their representation. Not having a trial and waiting for a decision saves time and money, which I believe is something two people can agree makes the process more appealing. It also gives the two people involved more control of the outcomes. They will each likely have a better agreement that they can accept instead of leaving it in the hands of a court and having the possibility of ending with an agreement they never wanted or would’ve gotten if they hadn’t gone to the family courts. When it is taken to the courts the judge decides and the couple divorcing has the risk of not getting what they wanted out of the divorce. In every divorce there is always something that one person involved or the other won’t be too happy about, but having more control than less leads to minimal dissatisfaction compared to the alternative.
Working for a divorce lawyer for the summer has allowed me to see both kinds of divorces. Divorces through courts and not. In my opinion those who use a mediator tend to have an overall better outcome than those who do. I have gone to the courts and witnessed what it is like for couples getting divorced and how the people sitting in the hearing learn about their problems and the issues they have with one another. It can get very hostile in some situations and not having an audience to witness the two working out their problems would be a much more
comfortable situation for most people. A private setting would let the two engage in serious conduct and allow them to say their opinions without having a judge and spectators to witness. What is said in front of the judge really affects the outcome of the divorce and since some people say unkind things to one another in the moment, it would be a lot less riskier to say it in a four-way conversation than in front of an entire courtroom. If a judge is basing his opinion on that a hearing, one thing that a person says can affect how the divorce will turn out for them. That alone is likely one reason that having a divorce without involving the courts would be a safer route for some people who tend to say exactly what they are feeling in a heated moment and it won’t completely affect the outcome of the decision.
Overall, handling a divorce without going to the courts in a reasonable option that a lot of people should consider. It is true that this isn’t always an option for some cases because the courts are needed in serious situations that a mediator alone can’t handle due to specific circumstances. However for those that have the option to avoid the courts, it will save them time, money, and will likely end in an agreement that the two involved would be a lot more satisfied with than an outcome that could come from a courtroom judge. That is because they will have a bit more control about how the divorce will end and overall will be able to live with what is decided.